Mood: guilty, ashamed, dishonor, disgraceful, failure, iniquity, regretful, remorseful, or simply wronged
I feel so upset. I've let slip to a person at school who possibly gossips 24/7 that I used to like a very kind boy. She warned me not to tell him after I told, but I didn't cover up with anything like "Haha, you fell for it" or "I was just joking" or "Oh sh...nap." How could I? Now I am in such depressed state that I can't bring myself to think of anything else. I don't want him to get hurt by the gossip-to-be. I am seriously so depressed that I am willing to spread something more valued to him than let this run out.
WHY COULDN'T I KEEP MY FRIGGIN' MOUTH SHUT?!?!?! Now I've caused myself such pain. From now on, I solemnly swear to my life that I won't talk unless I seriously need to or if someone asks me about anything. My mouth has been the cause of such disasters and I won't let it run chatting again. I am probably known by some people to say things very short like "Oh." "Ah..." "Uhm." "Okay." HOW COULD I???? I want to murder myself but suicide is selfish unless it's for someone else. But then again, there's a word for it called self-sacrifice. I want to dig myself into a hole and stay there until I'm absolutely sure that the world is once again safe for me to return to the surface.
~微笑 艾多掄
1 comment:
aish...its ok lah. sumtimes...one just feels like proving to someone else that they are not what they think they are like, and they blurt out things they didnt mean to say. that happened to me. just chill and pretend you dont hear his tease. then he might give up one day.
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