Imperfection

Mood: miserable, in-despair, stressing, dying, depressing, or simply tired

I can't always say yes to everything. Like listening to what she wants me to do. "Copy homework; help with this, that; Stay with me." I can't do everything. Even so, even what she does, I'd sacrifice my life if I had to for them all. She just doesn't care. Oblivious of everything I do for her. If friendship is so..........hard to achieve, I'd rather not make any. But I just can't let go of the friends I have. No matter who they are. Otherwise, I lose a bit of my reason to live. I know. I'm selfish. I'm oblivious to what people are willing to do to me unless they're up my fucking nose. I hate imperfection, but it's just not possible.

Mother says that I don't appear to be able to reject what people want me to do. Thus, some people are always taking advantage of that flaw. "Do this for me; I want that; help me; buy this for me, what are you standing there for? Hurry up!" I hate this. Imperfection of a cracked doll. I am a flawed person. I can't even get my words right without it being misinterpreted. I shrivel up and die. Oh, shit. She's dead! Stupid little idiot can't tell herself from a phat-ass hippo. I'm not a servant. I won't let you copy the work that I took overnight to finish. I won't tell you what I wrote. No, you owe me a lot of money. I'm not buying that for you. You're so lazy! Why don't you just take it out of your backpack instead of having me pay for that! Voices are always beating at me. She...but I can't stop being her "friend". Ditcher. Shut up. You're the ditcher. NO, I want to go there! That doesn't mean I have to! Stop it. I can't handle it anymore..., but I have to handle it myself. Tainted Pure has done so much for me. I will deal with my burden on my own. Thank you, Tainted.

~微笑 艾多掄